xanga

my main blog: www.xanga.com/dustnshadows
[it's not purely for poetry.]

Holy

This is my heart
Broken and scarred
By the toils of time
These are my bones
White and dry
Beneath the endless sand
These are my dreams
Riding the winds
Around the full moon on this dark night
This is me without you

Amid the ruins
Against the wind
My sould cries

Holy, Holy is the Lord
Holy, Holy is the Lord

CONFESSIONS

I've comeTo the place of total surrender
I'm so dryI wonder why i still exist
Why i'm gasping for that last breath
Just so i can make my mark on history

What is history?S
tories of those dead, those gone
The best, the worst
What is all that without u?
Loneliness, emptiness, and ultimate worthlessness
Death of the soul, the spirit.

Death?Is that such a macabre thing?
a phenomena?a step into the unknown?
But how could something so common be so dreadful?
Are we afraid because of what we don't know?
Death of the body: a path to a place greater than this earth
Death of the spirit: death for eternity

And now i've come
Falling to my knees
Cos i have nothing left to offer
Nothing left to give
You're all that i have
God, take all of me
I surrender all

Live for. Die for

Everyone thinks you're happy
Everyone thinks you'r satisfied
You've got all you need, great family
You're talented, capable
And everyone loves you

Everyone thinks you're holy
You got to church, you're in the ministry
You read your Bible, pray everyday
Everyone looks up to you anyway

But deep down inside you know
What they believe is not the truth
U're so confused, so tired
Of wandering around with no direction

Nobody sees the truth
What you do when you're all alone
U fall to your knees
And cry your eyes out
Trying to figure everything out

What am i living for?
What do i have to look on to?
Is there a point in trying?
When there's nothing that u would die for?
Nobody to trust, to depend on
Nobody to hold your hand through the storm

Nobody knows what happens
Behind locked doors
Between the four walls of your mind
Nobody know syou've got problems
Nobody knows you're going insane
From the pain of not knowing
What you're living for, dying for.

Jesus lived and died for you.
Itz now time for you to live and die for Him.
Forever.

Thanks for all the Memories

Reading all the notes you wrote
Thinking of all the time we've shared
Laughing at all the inside jokes
Running through my head

Smiling at the way we
Laugh and cried and sang
and danced and worked and walked together
Thank u for all the memories

*dedicated to the 2005 Taiwan CI team* *miss u like crazy*

Redemption

The dawn was coming
A crow was crowing
One man was all alone

The heat was rising
A mob was screaming
One man was all alone

He took the beating
To keep us living
One man was all alone

His Father not looking
the wounds were searing
One man was all alone

He took the cross
To give us something called forgiveness
He took the shame
Accepted the blame for what He did not do
He took the nails
And hung there dying
Bleeding for our healing
He took it all
And gave us Redemption

Sad Smile for You

One more sad smile for you
For the laughter and the crying
for the losing and the trying
Together

One more sad smile for you
For all the conversations
For all the time we've shared
Together

One more sad smile for you
For all the times you've kept me floating
When the world around me was sinking
All alone

One more sad smile for you
All thes people screaming
Lets me know that i'm not dreaming
All alone

One last sad smile for you

From my Beloved Neighbour... Darren

I will steal your dreams
I will enter you nightmares
I will consume your joy
I will prolong your sorrow
I will destroy your world
I will be forever your neighbour
I am THE DARREN

Incipit Vita Nova by Hermann Hesse

Incipit Vita Nova
In my life as in the lives of most men there was a critical point oftransformation from the universal to the particular,
a place of terror and darkness, ofconfusion and lonliness,
a day of unspeakable torpor and emptiness,
whose evening brought forth new stars in the sky and new eyes within me.

Shivering, I passed among the ruins of the world of my youth,
overshatteredthoughts and twisted, quivering dreams,
and everything I looked at dissolved into dust and ceased to live.
I saw friends whom I was ashamed of knowing,
thoughtsI had thought only recently looked me in the face,
and they had grown as alien andremote as if they had been a hundred years old and never been mine.

Everythingfellaway from me, and soon there was a deadly emptiness and calm all about me.
I had nothing more that was close to me, no loved ones or neighbors,
and my life roseup in me with a shudder of disgust.
Every measure was full to overflowing, every altar desecrated;
there was no sweetness but sickened me, no summit I had not leftbehind me.
Every shimmer of purity was spent,
every intimation of beauty defaced and trampled underfoot.
I had nothing more to long for, nothing more to offer, nothingmore to hate.

Everything that was still sacred and unravished and harmoniouswithin me had lost its eyes and voice.All the guardians of my life had fallen asleep.
All thebridges had been severed and all horizons robbed of their blue.
When everything alluring and lovable had thus fallen away,
when exhausted,infinitely poor and bereft, a spiritual derelict,
I awoke to awareness of my misery, I cast down my eyes, arose with heavy limbs and,
like a hunted criminal who leaves his house at night,
without taking leave and without closing the doors behind him,
departed from all the habits of my past.

Who has ever plumbed the depths of lonliness?
Who can say that he knows the land of renunciation?
My head reeled as I looked down into the abyss and found no end.
I wandered through the land of renunciation until my knees crumpled with weariness,
and still the road lay ahead in undiminished eternity.

A still, sad night arched over me, bringing comfort, and sleep.
Sleep and dreams came to me as friends to a homecomer and relieved me of a deadly burden as though lifting a pack from my shoulders.
Have you ever been lost at sea and seen a swimmer approaching from the land?
Have you ever, recovering from deathly illness,
taken a first draft of fresh garden air and felt the sweet surge of your reviving blood?
Like such a rescued mariner and such a convalescent,
I felt a swirling flood of gratitude, peace, light, and well-being that night,
when it became clear to me that inscrutable beings were looking down at me with friendly eyes. The sky looked different than ever before.
The position and recurrence of the heavenly bodies entered into a fore-ordained pact of friendship with my innermost life,
and the eternal established a clear and soothing bond between its laws and something within me. I felt that in my life resurrected from the desert a golden foundation had been laid,
a power and a law, in accordance with which, as I felt to my glorious amazement,
everything old and new within me would forever after beordered in noble crystalline forms and conclude beneficent alliances with all things and wonders of the world. Incipit vita nova. I became a new man, still a miracle to myself, at oncepassive and active, receiving and giving, in possession of treasures, the most precious of which is perhaps till unknown to me.

Hermann Hesse 1899

*picked this up when veiwing another blog... thought it was really cool... really deep though*

I Died for U

When i look into your eyes
There's nothing there to see
Nothing but your emptiness
Staring back at me

I died for you

I died for you
Just the way you needed me to
This cross, my time
To take the blame for the sake of being with you

I gave it all because i loved you

I bore the shame to make you whole

Don't turn your back on me
I have to make you see

Why i stayed
I could have walked away
No matter what you say
My love has set you free

*adapted from PushingMeAway by LinkinPark*

Hope You Don't Mind

Lying there on his bed
All alone
Funny thoughts running through his head
On and on
Tasting all the tears he cried
All night long
Couldn't reason with his mind
Was so blown

Reached over picked up the phone
Dialled her home

Hello
Just had to talk to you
You're the only one i know
Just to hear your voice, just to see your face
I can't let go
Of all the things they said, all the things i've left behind
I know it's late, but i really don't know what to do
I hope you don't mind.

Consume Me

Standing on this desert plain
The music playing over in my head
Wind swirling all around me
You are all i can see

The sun beating on my face
Through the mist of dust and shadows
I've never felt like this before
You are all i can see

Redemption is here
Covering me like a mist
I stand speechless
So frozen inside
I feel your flame to the bone
Redeem me, Consume me.

*written at 1230 a.m. while sitting in my bed listening to Sting's Desert Rose...*

Where The Roses Lie

Last night i dreamed of
The time when you'd come
Running back to me
Melt into my arms

I still think of
The look in your eyes
When you turned you back on me
And ran into the storm

And i'll be waiting here for you
Beneath the sky
Forevermore
Til the day i die
Where there roses lie

Her Universe, Her Destiny, Her Truth

She had no tears
To empty to cry
She had no thoughts
Her soul had died

But she still breathed
Not because she tried
It just happened
Life just happened

She felt so cold
So broken inside
Now her knees
She tries, She cries

He universe, her destiny, her truth
Is there anything left for you?
Is there anything left to give you another day?

Heaven's Eye

I look up at the universe
I see myself in heaven's eye
I look up at the ghostly moon
It's telling me you'll be back soon

Would you come for me
Come and sweep me away
Jesus, come for me
Take me in your arms
To where you are
Take me away

Come Set Me Free

You're all i dare to think of
You're all i need to make it through tonight
My mind is hearing voices
My demons telling me not to fight

This darkness is overwhelming
Come set me free

I wanna stay with you
Rest in your arms
I wanna be where you are
Save me tonight

Sorry

I'm sorry
For all the times i've let you down
I should have said something
Should have done what i needed to do

I'm sorry
For all the times i've turned my back on you
Saying things that weren't true
About how you weren't good enough

I wasn't good enough

To Where You Are

These bones are so dry, so cold
Consumed by the flame
Exhumed from the grave

This soul is so broken, so torn
Kneeling before you now
In the sweetness of this hour

But one day
These bones will rise
This soul will fly
To where you are
To see your face
To where you are

Need You

The nights get so cold
When you ain't right here with me
The days get longer
Time seems to crawl
The nights get so cold
When you ain't right here with me
I can't let you go

I need you
I need you right here
I need you
Cos I can't let you go

Tommorow

We're all waiting for another tommorow
To set us free
To take the darkness away
And we think that tommorrow will be so much better
But the dreams stay the same
The shadows never go away

Beautiful

Saw an angel in the sky today.
Was so beautiful, so beautiful.
She said you'd come for me today.
Your love's so beautiful, so beautiful.

Heard your voice in a mist today.
Its sound so beautiful, so beautiful.
You said you'd come for me today.
Your love's so beautiful, so beautiful.

Remember

Remember
I've always been nearby
I've heard your silent screams
All your empty sighs

In my head
I know the air you breath
You're lying to yourself
As if I don't exist

Did I fail?
Not a tear I missed
See the scars I took for you
The wounds beneath my skin

I know your hands are weak
I've held them a thousand times
I've felt your fist of hate
Amid your secret crimes

Please stop a see me now
U know I'll never leave
My arms they reach for you
U belong to me
Please let me whisper
These words of love to see you through

*i was in church reading the buletin, and under our youth fellowship coloumn was a really cool poem. so i took out a pen and wrote it out... changed it abit in the process. the result is the above poem.*

Poetry

hey...
got this blog to put some poetry...
pls comment. wanna hear from you.

sam

*all the poetry posted are written by me... sam... unless a background or explaination is given*